Hey guys, today I decided to sit here and just pour my thoughts/ emotions OUT! Lately I've been keeping a lot inside way more than the usual and when it comes to working on my blogposts I just never know what to write under the outfits so I just rarely keep up to date updating the blog. My mind has been up and down when it comes to my emotions. I've been doing my best in keeping myself busy which helps a lot and I try my very best to not close the door on everyone around me but honestly all I want is to be ALONE, yet hate the feeling of being alone!  I'm happy yet feel this hole in my heart ever since my puppy left, all I want, all I'm missing,  and what breaks me down is wanting him back but I know that death is part of life and I wont be able to see him or hold him in my arms anymore. 
When Malik came into my life I was dealing with depression, he helped me get out of it and now that I've lost him I feel like I'm back to where I started (I'm sure I've wrote this before) but I know I'm stronger than that and I know I've made huge progress from where I used to be! Before I was in bed for months suffering from constant panic attacks / anxiety. Watching each day pass without doing anything then getting mad at myself for not pushing myself to get out of bed but no matter how much I tried I just couldn't get out and I felt like nobody could understand! Wont lie there is days I do nothing productive but when that time of the month comes around I tend to be extra emotional, break down and today I just needed to vent after an intense crying it out session. 
 My point with all of this is to never give up on yourself, life isn't perfect nor do we have to pretend we are! I get mad at myself for thinking I'm crazy at times so I choose not to tell anyone how I'm feeling and here I am publishing it on my blog. I'm thankful to be healthy and alive, I'm able to get out of bed, eat and carry on with my life on the daily and I truly do feel happy... I just wish Malik was still here to enjoy life with me (he would have been turning 1 on May 2nd exactly a month after my birthday) some say just get another dog, but Malik was much more than just a dog and just look at how he has helped and keeps helping me even though he's gone. So even though I like to keep my personal life private, and if you're reading this right now I just want to let you know that you're not alone. I truly do hope this helps anyone going through a hard time in life no matter what the situation is. 

-----------------------------------
Por si no traduzco esta entrada les dejo una canción cual describe mis emociones al 100%
Si pueda que la canción sea un poco triste pero el significado es como uno lo decide ver 
y para mi expresa la batalla de uno mismo y que nunca hay que rendirse en la vida. 


.


Hey guys, today I decided to sit here and just pour my thoughts/ emotions OUT! Lately I've been keeping a lot inside way more than the usual and when it comes to working on my blogposts I just never know what to write under the outfits so I just rarely keep up to date updating the blog. My mind has been up and down when it comes to my emotions. I've been doing my best in keeping myself busy which helps a lot and I try my very best to not close the door on everyone around me but honestly all I want is to be ALONE, yet hate the feeling of being alone!  I'm happy yet feel this hole in my heart ever since my puppy left, all I want, all I'm missing,  and what breaks me down is wanting him back but I know that death is part of life and I wont be able to see him or hold him in my arms anymore. 
When Malik came into my life I was dealing with depression, he helped me get out of it and now that I've lost him I feel like I'm back to where I started (I'm sure I've wrote this before) but I know I'm stronger than that and I know I've made huge progress from where I used to be! Before I was in bed for months suffering from constant panic attacks / anxiety. Watching each day pass without doing anything then getting mad at myself for not pushing myself to get out of bed but no matter how much I tried I just couldn't get out and I felt like nobody could understand! Wont lie there is days I do nothing productive but when that time of the month comes around I tend to be extra emotional, break down and today I just needed to vent after an intense crying it out session. 
 My point with all of this is to never give up on yourself, life isn't perfect nor do we have to pretend we are! I get mad at myself for thinking I'm crazy at times so I choose not to tell anyone how I'm feeling and here I am publishing it on my blog. I'm thankful to be healthy and alive, I'm able to get out of bed, eat and carry on with my life on the daily and I truly do feel happy... I just wish Malik was still here to enjoy life with me (he would have been turning 1 on May 2nd exactly a month after my birthday) some say just get another dog, but Malik was much more than just a dog and just look at how he has helped and keeps helping me even though he's gone. So even though I like to keep my personal life private, and if you're reading this right now I just want to let you know that you're not alone. I truly do hope this helps anyone going through a hard time in life no matter what the situation is. 

-----------------------------------
Por si no traduzco esta entrada les dejo una canción cual describe mis emociones al 100%
Si pueda que la canción sea un poco triste pero el significado es como uno lo decide ver 
y para mi expresa la batalla de uno mismo y que nunca hay que rendirse en la vida. 


.

Post a Comment

Contact

Powered by Blogger.

Instagram

Pages

© Ashley Meza | Dallas Fashion Blog The Basic Page